Change- What IS & Is’nt

Hey Strangers.

I apologize for calling you strangers, its purely my fault that we have become that way.

As always I have no good excuse as to why but I have been cooking some stuff up and I am finally at my happy place, writing to you, ready to tell you all about it.

I have been thinking about making a career change for the last 3 weeks. This is not a decision I take lightly as I of course want to be a NY times best selling author but I also want a lifetime side gig, which for me, is going to be sales.

I was introduced to a women who pitched to me(get this) a job that is fully commission( I have no salary just to make that as clear as a crystal) , not in my field( at all), and would require a bunch of licenses and certifications to really be considered an expert in the trade.

Sounds like something you should jump through hoops to be considered for right?

The answer is yes, actually it is.


The opportunity itself while it has some visible risks is what I envision my career to look like and it just took a certain person to be able to convey that to me.

So as we all do, I mean I think we all do, I have been spending 100% of my free time doing the following:

  • Conducting a SWOT analysis
  • Listing and resisting all PROS and CONS
  • Interviewing people in the industry
  • Interviewing my friends and family
  • Mediating on my future
  • Ask the holly spirt for a sign of clarity of which direction to go

Yes all NORMAL things I know.  So while I continue to think about worst case senarios the obvious one is the subject of not having a salary.

At this point in my life all I ever have known is that with a certain title or status and with a certain level of experience your goal each year is to get an increase in salary and in due time maybe you get to your ideal salary wage.

Where this mindset derived from but that is how I have always look at it until recently.

The question I have been asking myself lately is when did we all join this rat race to work work and work to get to the “ideal” base compensation level that is suppose to equate stability and meaning into our lives?

I am not 100% sure  but I have been on this hamster wheel for quite some time.

What I am realizing is that I believe if you work hard you should yield a certain financial result.

On the flip side it seems  people are signed on to a new position with a “proven” track record or years of a certain experience/skill set and demand a certain compensation level before providing any type of value.

Why? Why do we think we are entitled to such a thing?

What gives us the right to demand anything without any proven concept?  This is why bartering honestly made so much sense to me.

I give you wheel you give me cookie, seems fair?

And why the hell do we think receiving or getting to a point of a certain level of compensation = stability and security?

Can’t big boss man decide one day that you don’t have a job or that that job you are doing you are getting paid too much for?

Sure as hell they can.

Thinks can change at a drop of a hat but we are so wrapped up on getting what we deserve that we stop thinking about what can we create.

We as creators can create whatever we desire. Whether that be a billion dollars or a fig tree, we and only we have the power to do so.

By putting up these walls of “what should be” or ” what we should be making” we are restricting our overall potential to be bigger, bolder, and limitless.

So I challenge you this week to reconsider what we believe to be the ways things are or the way things are suppose to be and DO and ACT from a place that will allow you to be your ultimate, powerful, creative self.

No salary in the world is going to give that to you.

Peace & Love, talk soon.










The worst of all feelings I believe is the “blah” feeling.

I know, I KNOW, there are many other serious feelings like depression and grief and there are tons of anger based emotions that are not so great either especially when you don’t know how to properly control them  but for me I would have to say the blah feeling  takes the winner’s trophy.

Why I feel this way is the “blah” feeling is really undefinable. It is an in between emotion that really has no strong association to it. At least with Anger and depression you can easily define it, at least in most cases, but the blah feeling is hard to pin point why you feel that way.

I have been in this blah state for the last two days and when I try to shift my energy around to get rid of this feeling it sets right back in.

Because this blah feeling is so hard to identify the root cause it just feels like you are floating from hour to hour not experiencing any spikes of emotion, everything just seems blah.

I guess the true answer is to try to get to the root of this blah causation and to dig deep on what it could really be but what if you dig and you find nothing? Is the answer just to dig some more?

Either way I cannot stand this in between emotion and much rather be in a crying, punching walls, or whatever else goes on during moments of intense emotion.

Any advise worth giving on how to ID this blah feeling or shift away from it would be greatly appreciated.

Namste friends.

Adam and who?

Hi Friends,

Sorry it has been so long but I’m back!

Over the weekend I had some visitors and the topic came up about sexuality.

My friend recently met with a guy she really like that she could ” tell” he was gay.

Apparently he meets all the stereotypical classifications of how a gay man would look, talk, and act.  The discussion was brought up in regards to the fact that he was actually dating a girl for the past 15 years and although he may actually like boys he loved her. She was amazed that  1) he was dating a girl 2)  he did not already know he was gay

Interesting, I thought. Looking at me you would never think I look,speak, or dress like a lesbian but here I am prancing around looking for the girl of my dreams.

I find humor in this because the world is not so black and white and even for my very evolved friend it seems to be concept that many people are still not able to grasp especially regarding sexuality.

The fact of the matter is yes I like girls and will only be truly happy in regards to having a sex life if I am with a girl. But what if things aren’t so cut and dry and that a boy who may like dudes could actually be in love with a girl?

I can feel myself going into all the different definitions and sexual orientations rabbit hole and I honestly don’t know enough to venture into the cave of a thought process so I will leave you with this.

Maybe what we are all searching for is a soul connection, whether or not we are drawn to different genders may actually be based on the souls of the people living in a certain human exterior?

When did we put so many parameters around  sexual preferences and what is deemed “normal”?

Please stand down if you are going to give me the whole,”Ever since Eve gave the apple to Adam” nonsense. I understand, in the Biblical heterosexual  world this is the only way and if you feel that way maybe stop reading this right

Any-who, even if it did start with so called “Eve and Adam” has anyone noticed that we have evolved since then?

We don’t have to use our wisdom teeth anymore thats for damn sure and all the dentist continue to do is tell me to take them out as I cry ” No they were meant to be in my mouth for a reason!”

So why if the species as a whole can and is expected to evolve in regard to looks, intelligence,  technology advancements, desires, and motives does our sexuality have to fit into a shade of black or white where it has no room to evolve?

From where I stand it doesn’t.  A human connection is a human connection no matter what body parts are under those hipster cloths( yes I just stereotyped you all as hipsters now) and putting anything in a box, especially sexuality, is so short sighted that it hurts me.

So here is to thinking outside of the box in regard to traditional and non-tradition view points. Stop believing the stories you have come to know as the truth and start listening and learning, you are bound to learn that the world is full of all different shades of colors


#peace&love #nojudgement #humanconnection

Opportunity Knocks but do we hear it?

Hi Friends. What is happening.

Well since you are the silent type I will share what is happening with me.

It is funny how I spend SO much time setting my intention and trying to manifest my desires into reality that and when they actually friggin’ happens I don’t even realize what the hell is going on.

Allow me to explain.

In regards to my love life I ranted a couple of days ago about how I was( still kind of am) attracted to this new girl although she is 100% not available because well, she likes GUYS. Despite my better judgement and knowing my same old chasing the unavailable girl story, I went out of my way to stay and hang with her last night.

The thing about me is when I like someone, romantic or not romantic, I will allocate more time then I even thought would be possible. If someone I sort of had a connection with asked me to stay late and hang out I would probably have denied them as my time alone is more valueable to me but when I feel a true connection, I go all out.

There is a connection and now I am of course trying to fight these butterfly feelings and am trying to rationalize why it is OK to allocate my time to her even if there is no romantic future.

And then it hits me. I have been asking and opening my heart to allowing a romantic, soulmate connection, to enter my world, but I have also been asking for spiritual friendships, ya know deep connections!

So bingo, there it is, right in front of me and I almost missed it, a spirtual friend is here not a romance opportunity.

On the career front I was meeting with a client and she asked me a fairly simple question and at the time I did not think much of it.

She asked, do you love what you do?

Usually this is a pretty easy answer but today I had to think about it. I do love sales and helping people but do I love everything about my job? Jury is still out on this one but I am happy enough is what I felt like replying with.

Then this afternoon I was asked the same question AGAIN

Although asked in a slightly different way., this women asked are you passionate about your job? I was so thrown off that I gave her my  P.C answer but the real answer is no, I want something more.

I ideally want to have the flexibility and mobility to work from a beach chair, that my friends, is the goal.

While I think this job is good and will make me the money in the short term I don’t think it will fit my long term goals if I am being honest.

This is also something I have been working on, visualizing myself as a millionaire. I want to do big big things and never have to worry about money again but the exact path on how to get there consistence in my head of having a great sales job and being a best selling author. While this job is good I don’t think it will get me to my ultimate financial goals.

The thing about this second conversation is this women is interested in learning more about me becoming a sales rep for her. She had awesome energy and it sounded great so I told her I would be open to hearing her out but the thought of leaving my current role scared the hell out of me

And why?!!!! This is what I have been ASKING for!

While I am processing how to deal with both situations, more so the whole career thing( more on this to come) it is amazing that I would have missed these universal signs and gifts if I didn’t  sit down to write and reflect.

Take time, reflect, and look for the small signs throughout your day because the universe is listening so we best start tuning in.

#universeislisteningbutarewe? #ask&youshallreceive #signs #manifest

Hello is anyone out there, can anyone hear me?

(Totally pulled that title line from the Titianic movie so please take credit as credit is obviously due).

Any who, hey friends. How are you?

Good question right.

That is is what I have been working on.

Asking POWERFUL open ended questions. Open ended meaning you cannot answer YES or NO to them, you must give some sort of opinion or show a thought process . This is sales 101 for not getting a NO which is like running into a dead end street after a 5 hour road trip with 1 mile left to go.

Open ended questions also seem to be known as POWERFUL questions.

Example of these questions are: Who, what, where, when, how, would(sometimes if the timing is right).

After a couple of spiritual semniars I recently attneded apparantely asking these open questions are also powerful questions to ask the universe when stuck on something.

So I have been asking powerful questions around my big goals in life, one being my dating world, which if you wonder what this blog post’s initial intention was, it was to talk about just that. Sadly I haven’t had any successes stories to share which is why I rant and rave about other topics that amuse me.

Well today I was asking how I can open my heart more. More specifically I was asking how I can open my heart more to receiving or being interested in the non-straight girl population.

There is this new girl at work and not to say I am attracted to her but there is something interesting about her. And that is how it starts.

The curiosity leads to more attempts to hang out, more hanging out means I either fall deeper into curiosity and as my typically story line goes I try( sometimes successfully) to make this girl fall in love with me.

Bad path. Same old sad old story. So done with it.

So while I am asking myself the questions how do I open my heart to a girl who wants to be a in a long lasting relationship with another girl my mind does what it’s made to do, it tries to come up with solutions to questions.

My first thought was well we( meaning me)  are trying dating sites and Facebook groups but all I get are some 25 year old admins who seem semi attractive  but then my mind goes to well how are you really planning on connecting with a 25 year old admin? You are on completely different wave lengths. Thats when I tell my ego to shut up and as long as they love and take pride in it what they do why do I care what there title is?

This circle of pain goes on for sometime in my mind but either way the truth is I don’t care what they do but they do have to be on the same wave length to have a possibly connection I am afraid to admit.  Either way not a bunch of strong potential matches/ wave lenghts coming my way from the dating app world.

Which leads my to my Facebook account that I PURPOSELY created to explore local gay communities and groups. Kicker is everything I have joined just leads to my news feed being full on genitals that I frankly do not want to see. Come on people who really is turned on by seeing a full frontal vag pic. Ok don’t answer that but I sure as hell am not.

So back to my original question of how can I open my heart to a girl who is looking to be in a relationship with another girl I still have not received the answer I am looking for.

So peeps here is your shot to converse with me.

Tell me all the things I am doing wrong in this search party because I need help.

I am open to all sorts of ideas and would love to hear from someone currently on this search or who has been successful in this search.

The only thing is I can’t promise some powerful questions as a response.

Holler at me. I am open for business.



Sorry Seth Godin

So if you have been following me, you know I was on a mission to make it to 40 straight days of writing and now is the 2nd time I have not succeeded. The first go around I made it to 8 days and I made it to 10 this time around. So I mean progress has been made but still not able to achieve my goal.

I actually have no excuses this time other than life got in the way which may not be a bad thing. By writing 18 days on and off for the past month I have really been able to focus my thoughts and make them clear manifesting my current life AKA reality which is what got in my way of writing. Ignorinc how that works ( Humans plan & God laughs).

The first time of not hitting my goal upset me as I felt shame of not being able to follow through to completion because that is what my life has always been about.

Make the goal, fight like hell to do everything in your power to achieve it, no excuses.

This time I felt and feel differently. 

It was either Jess lively or Brooke Castillo podcast that helped me change my thoughts process on this.

Our society in regard to the self help, the how to be an ultra achiever world, is all about setting goals and changing your whole damn life to achieve them. A take no prisioners type of mentalility. While having goals is amazing and helps us stay on track to not living a “floating through life” of an existence  there is a law of diminishing returns at play here.

When we set goals but are fighting so hard to achieve them that we are pushing our way to the finish line rather then getting there at ease and grace there is a problem.

When we feel this pushing feeling we have become misaligned with our emotion connection to this goal. None of our goals should feel like they are depriving us from joy when trying to accomplish them. They should of course challenge us and take hard work but when you feel like depleted when fighting like hell to achieve it rather than energizied by the goal, it may be time to take a step back and get a new vantage point around the situation.

While driving home this week from taking my great aunt to dinner I was so exhausted that when I went to open my computer all I wanted to write was the word SLEEP 17 times in a row and call it my 11/40 day of writing. Sound like something you would want to read right?

Hitting this 11/40 was not the point of this because it really had nothing to do with my big goal which was  add value to you people and get clarity on my own thoughts. The word sleep written 17 times is helping no one including my half asleep self that night.

So while I am going to strive to write everyday I am not going to put a # goal associated with my writing. The pressure of hitting this 40 # is what has stolen the original intention of  my goal and got me all misaligned.

So when in doubt or when you feel like you are pushing through something, take a step back, realign, and do what makes you FEEL GOOD.

Thats all I got friends for today. Happy trails and Namaste 🙂


Better days

I had a much better day today, thank you for asking, and I really believe it was from writing out my thoughts yesterday and getting over 10 hours of sleep( way to much on the norm but seems my body needed it). I was able to start the day with my heart open and realigned myself with feelings of love and all the low vibe energy from the day before seemed to have vanished.

While today was not a high of highs it was still a good, purposeful day.

I looked for joy in small things and did what my heart lead me to do. Somethings that all we can do and all that we need.

All I got for tonight. Dream on spiritual running mates and enjoy the new awaking tomorrow.

#10/40 #soshort #moretoflowtomorrow